It will also give them a better opportunity to share their side of the story. Patel recommends you use “I” statements, such as “I feel annoyed when you do this, so could you please do this instead.”īeing as specific as possible will make it more likely the person will take what you're saying on board. However, confrontation doesn't have to be aggressive. If someone is repeatedly annoying you and it's leading to bigger problems, Patel says it's probably time to say something. Usually, the way we communicate is more important than what we actually say. Express your feelings calmly and consider using a referee. Travis Bradberry explains it simply in a post on LinkedIn: if they were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? No, you'd move away and get some fresh air.ĥ. If you feel yourself getting worked up, take a time-out and get some breathing space. You're perfectly within your rights to establish boundaries and decide when you interact with someone. Concentrate on the issue, Patel says, not the person.

Try to rise above it all by focusing on facts, and try to ignore how the other person is reacting, no matter how ridiculous or irrational.

Try not to overreact, because they may overreact in return, meaning things escalate quickly and fiercely. Over time, this lack of effort can turn into contempt. Chances are you don't enjoy interacting with the people you don't like, and so you don't put much effort in. Some people are optimists and others consider themselves “realists.”Ī research paper by Hamstra et al looked at something called “regulatory fit,” which translates as: we are much more likely to put effort into the things we like doing. Some are dominant, whereas others are timid.

Flaxington explains in another blog post on Psychology Today that our behavioural styles can get come between people. It doesn't mean you're a bad person, and it doesn't mean they are either (not necessarily, anyway.)Īccording to psychologist Dr Susan Krauss in a blog post on Psychology Today, it's likely that you and the person just aren't a good fit. Patel says the first step to dealing with the people you don't click with is accepting nobody gets on with everyone, and that's okay. As much as we hope to like everyone we meet, it often simply isn't the case.

Nobody wanna see us together download